How to Set Holiday Boundaries
I had a great question yesterday from one of my health coaching clients that I want to share with you.
She asked, “How do I balance teaching, gift shopping, school events, and social gatherings…and also find time for self-care this holiday season?”
My response? I believe the most compassionate self-care you can give yourself this season is the permission and grace to not do it all.
Below, check out a few self-compassionate, boundary-setting questions you can ask to reduce overwhelm, resentment, and fatigue, and preserve connection and joy this holiday season.
How To
Reflect, journal, or discuss the following questions:
What specific events and traditions are you looking forward to this holiday season? What do you feel ‘meh’ about? What are you dreading or feeling overwhelmed by?
If you’re looking forward, prioritize it in your schedule!
If you’re ‘meh’ or overwhelmed by a certain event, or certain aspects of an event, start setting limits or saying no.
Instead of asking, “How can I do it all?”, start asking, “When can I let enough be enough for myself this season?”
When can enough be enough with school, with social events, and with your personal life this season?
What does enough look like this coming week?
What does enough look like today?
…What about in this exact moment?
What are you able and willing to give during this holiday season, and where are you drawing the line?
Where is your line financially?
How much time are you willing and not willing to give?
What are you willing to put energy into? Where would you like to avoid putting your energy?
If you have no time to fill your cup while giving to others, it is a good sign you are giving too much of yourself away. Go back through these questions, and set limits with a few more things so that your sweet self can be included in your circle of care.
A Few Examples of Holiday Boundaries
If financially stressed, you may decide to make homemade gifts, and only for the people dearest to your inner circle.
If socially overwhelmed, you may choose to only attend parties you are genuinely looking forward to.
If stressed about continuing school as normal during this unique time of year, redefine your marker of success by creating more attainable objectives before the break.
If worried about family dynamics, give yourself permission to walk away from conversations that feel uncomfortable at gatherings.
The boundaries you set depend on what is causing you stress and overwhelm. Use how you are feeling as a compass to set the limits you need this holiday season.
Practice dropping what you “should” do, and imagine instead the type of holiday that will help you best spread joy to others, and help you rest in joy yourself.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
“You can do anything, but not everything.”
-David Allen
If you found this teacher wellness post helpful, share it with an educator you care about :)
Until next week,
Emily Hemmingson
Health Coach for Teachers
Founder of The Teacher Wellness Center
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