How to Say No Kindly as a Teacher
Saying no is essential to protecting your health and happiness during the school year, but it’s not always easy to do - especially when you value being a kind, compassionate teacher in your school community.
Do you fear seeming mean or maybe a little selfish when saying no? If so, I would love to first remind you that protecting your time and energy by saying no can help you be more kind, more present, and more engaged with your school community.
But I get that it can still be hard. Here are 3 ideas, 2 quotes, and 1 question to help you feel more confident and kind while saying no at school.
3 Wellness Ideas to Say No With Kindness
I.
Acknowledge the other person’s feelings first. You can be compassionate and still say no to someone (it’s not a choice between one or the other). Try starting your sentence by saying something like “I understand you need/feel/want __________”, and then add your boundary. Example: “I understand you are worried about finding someone to run the new after school program, but I’m not available to do it.” or “I understand you are angry, but I won’t meet with you until you are calm.”
II.
Give a reason why, but be brief. You are allowed to use the word “no” as a full sentence, but briefly explaining why you need to say no can help the other person understand where you’re coming from. Try saying what you are prioritizing or protecting with your no. Example: “I cannot get that paperwork to you by Friday because I am prioritizing getting my grades in by then.”
III.
Offer an alternative. Is there another person who could help, another time you can help, or another strategy that would work to solve that person's problem? If they leave with another possible solution, the no will be easier for them to accept and they will remember you as a problem-solver. Example: "I’m not available to help with that right now, but I am available at the end of the school day.” or “I’m unavailable for that meeting - We can reschedule, or it sounds like we could resolve this issue with a quick email survey - why don’t we do that instead?”
2 Quotes from Others
I.
“It’s only by saying “no” that you can focus on the things that are really important.” -Steve Jobs
II.
“When you say “yes” to others, make sure you are not saying “no” to yourself” - Paulo Coelho
1 Question For You
What is one thing, big or small, that you can practice saying no to at school to protect your time and energy?
If you enjoyed that, please share this post with other teachers who may benefit!
Until next week,
Emily Hemmingson
Health Coach for Teachers
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