3 Beliefs that Make it Hard to Set Boundaries (with Reframes)
In a system that demands so much of a teacher’s energy and time, setting boundaries is an essential burnout prevention skill.
However, communicating your needs and limits can be easier said than done.
This week, I am sharing 3 common, limiting beliefs that can make it hard to set boundaries, with 3 reframes to help you stand strong in your priorities this year.
I.
“I can’t set boundaries at work.”
Teachers are often asked to do more than one human being should reasonably be expected to do. If you don’t set boundaries with all of the requests that will likely come your way, your focus, creativity and emotional health will likely suffer.
Try instead: “I have to set boundaries to keep showing up as the teacher I want to be.”
II.
“I can’t say no and avoid everything stressful about my job.”
This one isn’t wrong - we can’t avoid all of life’s stressors. However, saying no is just one way to set a boundary. Other, more nuanced ways to set boundaries include setting limits, establishing conditions (“I need __ before I can ___”), asking for help or delegating, and coming to compromises - and these should all be acceptable courses of action in a healthy work environment.
Try instead: “If I can’t say no, what is a creative solution that will help me feel more comfortable and safe at work?”
III.
“If I set a boundary with someone, they will be frustrated, mad or upset with me.”
If you resonate with this one, I want to reassure you first that the most common, and healthiest, reaction to a boundary is either acceptance or a willingness to compromise. However, if someone reacts negatively, it’s important to remember that their reaction is their responsibility - not something you need to fix. If you continuously struggle to set boundaries because your colleagues ignore or even pressure you to keep working past your healthy limits, that is a sign of a toxic work environment.
Try this instead: “I can’t please everyone. I would much rather disappoint someone for a moment than disappoint myself throughout the school year.”
Let us know in the comments: Which belief resonated the most - Is there anything that helps you advocate for your needs during the school year?